Young at Heart

Graduation in June...wisdom teeth (removal of)...cell phone (with texting privileges)...and slowly learning how to drive. As Mum points out often with tears in her eyes, I'm growing up. *On a side note: my poor parents! They're taking it harder than I expected!* And you know what, this formerly-content-to-stay-in-my-bubble-girl, is coming to grips; enjoying many (not all!) of the privileges of getting older and becoming my own person. I'm enjoying these changes that this major transition time has brought. I'm not saying I'm perfectly content with this crazy thing called growing up, or fully embracing and loving independence (parts of me are) but the Lord has recently given me a joy in many of these changes. Our family and season of life right now is not perfect, many hard days have arisen because of circumstances in God's hands alone-but I find that if I embrace each new day (and it's mercies anew!) with joyful flexibility, clutching my Abba's hand His peace like a river attendeth my way...

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I still struggle with what people think of me...but I wash dishes singing (*ahem!* loudly) off key and dancing to a Keith Urban song. *Please don't even try to imagine that scenario!* I ask the Lord to prepare me to be a help meet...and the next second I'm daydreaming about my wedding gown and flowers. I often neglect to make the time to play dolls with Anna, shrugging it off that I have more productive things to do...yet I've teared-up dressing my dolls with Anna, which really perplexes the poor girl! Poor Anna just doesn't get her oftentimes crazy, silly older sisters. I love solitude with a cup of something (cold or hot-always sweet) and a long novel (or a Civil War narrative)...I can also sing and laugh as loud as my friends while listening to a fun country song on the radio. I cannot wait to be someone's wife someday, bear children and love to glean insight from homeschooling mothers...but I still love being at home with my crazy family and being 'only' 17. I have a list of 8 qualities that 'He Must Be,' the basics of the kind of guy I want to marry...and I happen to think a few certain actors (certainly not the epitome of Godly men!) are very good-looking...in this century and the 20th. Gregory Peck, Josh Duhamel, Peter Lawford...okay, you get the picture.

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I often complain about late night silliness and giggles with a superior yawn...but some of my fondest memories with my roommate and sister Sara, and friends, fall into that category. I am often too serious, too contemplative and quiet but when something is exciting or gets my dander up, my shouts can (apparently) raise the roof. My family also greatly helps in getting me out of these 'moods.' My school days are almost through and I can't wait to not have to log 180 days every year! At the same time I want to drag my feet when it comes to finishing those 180 days, writing papers and being taught by Mum. Of course I know I will and have always been taught by Mum, but my years of formal education sitting at the feet of Mum are almost through. It's late October-halfway through the 1st semester! How time flies! I still have moments of wanting to hide behind Mum but of late, going places (however few) by myself and knowing that not only, do I have a family name to represent, I have the Lord to represent and glorify! Those moments of independence have recently been relished once I 'get over myself.' I often mumble, I am my worst critic by far about so many silly things, I can't sing, I'm a perfectionist in many ways, I have spontaneous moments of random hilarity (just ask my family-then again...) I love to passionately discourse about music, old movies, the Civil War, generational vision, and I sigh at all the sappy parts in chick-flicks!

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Do I look forward to a future of independence with eagerness and impatience? No. Am I holding onto my protective shell with white knuckles? By God's grace, no. I let it go and leave it there. I look forward to the future after graduation; I am still able to live and be taught (not formally) at home and new opportunities, changes and seasons seem to be definitely around the horizon. Changes and opportunities such as a job (hopefully), a trip or two, a driver's license and whatever else the Lord has in store for me. His grace is enough for every day, even if my noble plans to serve (which are deep-down, rooted in pride) are tossed aside and I'm turned topsy-turvy by what the Lord allows/brings into the day. I still have moments of being young at heart and indulge some whims and daydreams...and I'm no longer a child. I can't wait to look back years from now with dear family and friends, laugh until our stomachs hurt at all my silliness and awkward seasons, dwell on the sobering lessons the Lord taught me and difficult seasons only He led me through and in short, see the brilliant tapestry His hand has weaved.

...it's hard, you will find, to be narrow of mind

If you're young at heart!

You can go to extremes with impossible schemes

You can laugh when your dreams fall apart at the seams

And life gets more exciting with each passing day

And love is either in your heart, or on its way.

"Young at Heart" Frank Sinatra

Friends

Over the years friendships have come, gone and changed all for the better. I am so blessed to count so many dear girls my friends. There have been a particular few who have stuck closer than a brother-over many years and a few. The Lord has blessed me with a wonderful family as my best friends-particularly my Mum and Sara. We bicker, we tease (mercilessly!!), we struggle, we hurt, we apologize but there is no one that knows me better (sees the good, the bad and the ugly!) than Mum, Sara and a sister of my heart-Gabrielle, in Idaho. This is a post dedicated to my wonderful friends-each of these friendships has a unique history that has God's fingerprints all over it. "A mother is one you can run to with all your troubles,"~Emily Dickinson

My Mum...it took me awhile to not call her 'Mama.' I gave her so much grief (and still do sometimes!) during my early teen years...cried buckets of tears to...and have been so blessed to be her daughter, and as I've grown older, a best friend. She raised my siblings and I up 'in the nature and admonition of the Lord,' and we've shared struggles, sorrows and so many joys and inside jokes. My Marmee, my friend. And now, though I am not leaving home, we've talked recently about growing up, testing my 'wings,' and branching out of my comfort zone. For me it's so hard to look past myself and to what the Lord has planned, but for Mum....she's fond of saying she's cried since I turned 16, when all this 'hit' her. It's not much of an exaggeration-it's a bittersweet transition time for both of us. "Mama, you taught me to do the right things. So, now you have to let your baby fly. You've given me everything that I will need. To make it through this crazy thing called life. And I know you watched me grow up, and only want what's best for me." Carrie Underwood, Mama's Song. This song is a tearjerker, and when I go through the transition time of a wedding and marriage referenced in this song, it'll be doubly bittersweet. Another line goes, "Giving me away is not goodbye," but oh will it be so hard! To leave my family to form a brand new life together with my husband, in the Lord. Our bonds have only grown stronger through this transition time of graduation and will grow stronger when I 'leave and cleave' someday.

In the cookies of life, sisters are the chocolate chips. ~Unknown

This picture is priceless. Notice the resemblance between Mum, Anna Banana and Sara? I so treasure these spontaneous, random bursts of laughing until our sides ache, crying at the same time. My two sisters-one only two years younger and the other eleven years. They're so precious and though we have our spats...okay, daily! Our love for each other is strong and will never break.

Sisters are different flowers from the same garden. ~Author Unknown

My Sara Sunshine. She brings SO much joy into our family's life and my own. Sharing a room with her for the majority of our lives has been wonderful...and we've had our petty spats and harsh words that we know, deep down, we don't mean. It hurts, but when we genuinely apologize-sometimes nose to nose-it's good. The quote above is so true for Sara and I. We love each other dearly, hurt when the other hurts, and a fierce 'sister-bear' instinct has risen up in each of us at different times. We are so different, though....which is not bad. Oftentimes we do not understand the other's preferences but are grounded on the same, solid ground of the Lord and our family.

Sister to sister we'll always be

A couple of nuts off the family tree! ~Unknown

Have we had some fun times. "STINKBUG!" and "SQUIRREL!" Just today in our room, sitting on our respective beds with school books aside, we bust out laughing about the most random thing. I don't even remember what it was but we were just talking and being funny when something struck both of us as hilarious at the same time. We distract each other, share so many memories and talk long into the night! There were never, as different as we are, such devoted sisters.

Sisters touch your heart in ways no other could. Sisters share... their hopes, their fears, their love, everything they have. Real friendship springs from their special bonds.~Unknown

My Idaho sister, Gabrielle. She is truly another member of this family and we miss her sorely when she is gone in between yearly visits. Each visit, (two and counting!) has grown the bonds between us all stronger and the times of waiting in between visits, the Lord is certainly at work and has blessed us. Pictured above are three out of four of Mum's daughters. What fun, girly times we've had together! We've had our differences, grown past them, teased mercilessly and again, talked long into the night, on the phone and in person. The Gorecki family loves and misses our Gabrielle.

A true friend unbosoms freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably. ~William Penn

Our friendship. It all began when I sent in a short story to a former magazine Gabrielle was an editor for. That was the first time she saw my name when she sifted through the entries. It was an older story of mine...written when I was around 12 and had not been edited when I sent it in. Suffice it to say it did not place! To this day we laugh at the hilarity of my short story and I personally thank the Lord He grew me in the area of writing! Eventually we started e-mailing through the magazine and her blog. We discovered we were obsessed with old movies and enjoyed many of the same books, interests, etc. Our first phone call lasted 3-4 hours. We hung up at 1 a.m our time, 11 p.m her time. We began calling once a week or so, still e-mailing long letters and our friendship grew stronger. And stronger. We grew close and were truly kindred spirits. One of those friendships, like Anne and Diana in Lucy Maud Montgomery's brilliant series, that we just know we have something. And that it is from the Lord and it will last.

"And then there were 3." Sara and Gabrielle began talking on the phone as often as she and I and though all 3 of us are different and have our differences, our hearts have bonded like steel. Her first visit was a total surprise for me for my 16th birthday-Sara and Mum were in on it. She stayed for 2 short weeks and what great two weeks they were. Ups and downs, the good the bad and the ugly, long talks, many hilarious memories and many precious moments were packed into those two weeks. We all cried when we walked her to the security line at the airport and our hearts were mutually sore for a little bit. The phone lines were hot that next year as our friendship was deepened, blessed and strengthened as we both went through changes, struggles and God's growth. (Funny story about picture above: it took us a few tries to get our initials right. First it was GMS...it didn't flow right for us. Then it was MSG-well, that's something my Mum's allergic to so it then became GSM.)

June 21, 2010, we picked up dear Gabrielle from the airport for 3 weeks. They seemed just as short as the last visit but it was great. Again, memories were made but to me, it seems like each visit, each phone call too, the Lord deepens our friendship and sister-like bond.

Friendship that flows from the heart cannot be frozen by adversity, as the water that flows from the spring cannot congeal in winter"- James Fenimore Cooper

Our friendship has been tested, we've learned, changed but God's fingerprints are so brilliantly painted over the tapestry of this friendship (as with all relationships) but I look forward with anticipation to the next visit near my graduation, to see what the Lord has in store.

"When true friends meet in adverse hour;

'Tis like a sunbeam through a shower.

A watery way an instant seen,

The darkly closing clouds between."- Sir Walter Scott

Danielle and I go back quite a few years. One whole decade, we've been friends. Our families have been close, especially our mothers and brothers. Homeschooling was the common bond in those early years, and then it was church but the glue that held our friendship together was the Lord. We've seen changing seasons, ups and downs but the Lord is so doing a work in each of us just in the past two years or so, we've grown closer. I chose the quote above, under the picture, because it expresses my thoughts entirely of just yesterday when we spent 2 hours sharing our hearts and opening up. So many memories across the years! Photo-shoots, picnics, parties, movie nights and many innumerable moments of sheer hilarity scattered liberally in between.

I have been so blessed to know Danielle, to walk through seasons and special moments in life with her...this picture is from her graduation party and we now look forward to having a picture taken at mine this coming June. Our hearts desire is to be wives and mothers but until that day...we're both going through transition times, God's plans that are shaping, stretching and growing us more like Christ.

"Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens his friend's countenance." -Proverbs 27:17

Caelyn and Morgan. We've known each other for about a year and a half and the Lord has so richly blessed me with their like minded friendship. I look forward to many memories to come when Caelyn gets back from Alaska that you can read about here. Just our few visits over the summer and their sweet notes through Facebook have so blessed me and I am ceaselessly encouraged by their friendship. Our friendship is just beginning but the work the Lord is doing and the blessings are priceless.

Michaela and I go back. Way back. Back to when we were both 6. She is reaching her 17th year in just a few weeks and that will make it 'official' that we've known each other eleven years. We met at Keepers at Home, a group not unlike our Maidens study now, just for little girls. We began to write letters and haven't stopped. She is one of my 'Hopeful' friends. Hopeful is a character from the classic book, "Pilgrim's Progress" and I can so relate Christian and Hopeful's friendship to mine and Michaela's over the years. Always lifted me up, prayed for me and listened to my many petty problems through those early teen years. It has been so neat to look back through those letters, see the issues we were going through and see God's hand, in our lives and friendship.

"Ah, how good it feels...the hand of an old friend"- Mary Englebright

Morgan is Michaela's sister and she and Sara, the same age, have been friends as long as Michaela and I have. We fondly call them, "M-n-M." These two sisters are best friends, as Sara and I are, and our sister get-togethers have been so much fun and memorable. It'll always be Michaela and Morgan, and Meghan and Sara-friends forever.

Sarah Elaine. We've been friends for about 4 years and is a true gem of a friend. She's a funny, real, lovable girl and oh how many great times we've shared. This is one of them-a picnic then photoshoot with Sarah, Danielle and Gabrielle. My Sara was in Ohio at the time...we've obsessed...er, enthused over BBC dramas, piano scores, 'girly' stuff and for a time, worshiped in the same church. The Lord has led us recently to another church but we have many relationships, Sarah included, cemented for life at the previous one.

"A hug is worth a thousand words. A friend is worth more."

I chose this quote because whenever I am hugged 'hello' or 'goodbye,' by Sarah, it's a silent gift of how much our friendship means and what it is growing to be. I am so thankful for Sarah-treasure her friendship and can't wait to see what God has in store for it!

Our Maidens group. It has been a source of fellowship, encouragement and ceaseless laughter and learning for around 4 years. It's seen changes and blessings and new faces. I wouldn't change a thing or a memory. A former 'Maiden' is now a wife and mother, we're all older and facing late high-school and graduation, as well as just entering into high-school. It's a diverse group of girls and an example of the Body of Christ-diverse, yet with one purpose. Each girl has a special something only she adds to the group and I love to sit back and watch God's work in the lives of all of these maidens.
I just feel so full and overflowing with the abundance of blessings I have in each and every one of my friends. I'd like to close with some 'immortal' words of a great author that sum up my feelings completely:

"I count myselt in nothing else so happy
As in a soul rememb'ring my good friends."- William Shakespeare

Autumn

This season is perhaps my favorite. Hypocrite that I am, I probably say the same thing about spring. See if I don't, in late April! The colors of the leaves, the brilliant blue of the sky and the varied shapes and colors of clouds rolling in and out through out the day give me a desire to wax poetic. And thank our most creative, er, Creator, for blessing us humble humans with such beauty to behold. The temperatures are cooler, windows are not open nearly as much as in the past weeks of an Indian Summer feel, and the leaves are falling to the ground with graceful abandonment. The other things on the ground besides tree roots that have caused many a stubbed toe, are the acorns. Squirrels and chipmunks everywhere are thankful for this time to store up and put away these portable meals but our family-not so much. At least my dad isn't...and my feet when I venture out with my toes unclothed. Yes, yes, I know I just mentioned falling temperatures and bare feet in the same breath but hey, what can I say, it's in my genetic pool to walk around constantly in bare feet. Acorns hurt-excruciatingly so if you're chasing after a younger sibling! Or even when I act like a civilized, ladylike female and climb into the car and almost slip on those blasted acorns with high-heels on! Meghan's life lessons #1598: never, EVER, wear high-heels walking on any terrain other than asphalt or cement. Not pretty. Not pretty a'tall.

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Autumn 2010 is a busy time for our family. Many family birthdays coming up, canning season in full force, school days going swiftly by towards my graduation (ON JUNE 19TH!!) and familial adapting to Dad's new job and Mum's recent painful days. I've wrestled with anger and resentment about these changes and so wished to change them! I had no idea why the Lord was allowing all of this conflict and chaos all at once! Couldn't we just get it in small doses, I prayed. Selfishly and proudly I prayed like a Pharisee, saying, I know what You want our home to be like but why isn't it like that?! Ha, well, let me say shortly that the Lord has brought me down from my holier than thou place. I complained to others with much exaggeration and drama how our family was falling apart, things were so chaotic and how nothing was going right. Note: italicized words were said in whiny/dramatic tone of voice. I always want to fix what I think is wrong. I always feel that somehow it's my fault. It's a heart issue, and a selfish one at that-thinking that it all comes back to me and it's all up to me to fix it. The Lord is so good to weed that stubborn root out of me, but it's taking some time. I love to be active, serving, cultivating, going, doing, investing. So often, (many times over in the course of just 24 hours!!) I keep thinking, 'what's there to do? What can I clean, fix, help, etc?' The Lord has to, sometimes when I'm most upset/resentful, knock me upside the head, as I am fond of saying, and say, "Just be still, and know that I am, God. You don't need to prove how much you love somebody by actions to make them feel better. Let Me. You cannot wake up early enough, be productive enough, take away enough of your Mum's tasks that she has time to herself or feels better. Let Me. Trust me, have faith, my pearl I am polishing. I will bring to pass all that I have promised and will work. In my time, not yours." It's a process of surrender, to leave the burden (perfectionism) that I place on my shoulders, at the cross and put it completely in God's hands.

To, 'go with the flow,' is a common phrase around our home that means to me, "trust God for every minute. You can't out-plan God's, so don't try.' That's not to say that I desire to be completely unorganized and flying by the seat of my skirt. What that means for me in our days that often are a bit 'crazy' and a tad chaotic, is to stop focusing on what 'needs' done and focus on what the Lord needs of me. My every minute, my words, thoughts and actions. Instead of seeing what 'never gets done,' the Lord is showing me to look for the little things, the little blessings or sunbursts of joy in our home that He has given me to see and bless His name. My baby sister Anna, is one. She is quite loud, often times scatterbrained (family trait), sometimes overly energetic in my opinion but that is what makes Anna Banana, my Peony. Ronnie and Anna love to bound around the house, in and out weather (blessedly) permitting, yelling and squealing excitedly...most times. Occasionally Anna is running through the yard, falls in some mud and then trips up steps two minutes later. Washing a mountain of dishes from our canning day today, she squeals to a stop and wraps her arms around me and says, "I love you Meghan, so much." Can I get a collective 'Awww!' I pat her head, her light-brown/blondish head with knots in it and wisps flying everywhere. She dances around with me in the kitchen to some old numbers from MGM musicals and laughs as I drop a utensil not once but thrice! She is almost to the point of belly-laughing, as I warble 'Singin' in the Rain,' and wipe of the utensil, she says, 'Hehehe, you're clumsy, Meghan.' Yeah. Out of the mouths of babes. Understatement of the century! The way she said it, almost in the same tone of voice as the, 'I love you,' a few minutes before, warmed my heart. So I scooped her up, while the clouds rolled in and out over a soft sunset, and attempted to swing dance with her in the kitchen to 'Que, Sera, Sera.' "Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours, to see. Que sera, sera. What will be, will be.'

A frost warning had been issued a few days ago and Mum bustled to pick all of our produce yet comfortably on their stalks in the garden. Probably 30 pounds of green tomatoes and about 5 of peppers later....our produce is saved! We canned green tomatoes, peppers and piccalilli-all pickled. Try saying that 5 times fast! Sara is suffering from a slight cold so Mum and I spent the entire day, okay, that's an exaggeration, but MOST of the day in the kitchen. To pickle all our gorgeous produce, I offered to slice onions. One 5 lb. bag of onions and about 500,000 tears later, I was ready for a short break. I must say I looked scary! Mascara from last night's Maidens streaking under my eyes, blue eyes looking even bluer against the red face, eyes puffy as a...whatever, you get the picture. Even while doing that and making mashed potatoes for supper, I really enjoyed myself. I had Mum, almost completely to myself. Working alongside each other was wonderful. I got to talk her ear off about my story I'm working on, comparing mental notes on the Union home front during the Civil War, telling her which characters I'm going to maim/kill off....as well as other, 'productive' topics such as my speech I gave at Maidens. Not A+ work by any stretch of the imagination, poor preparation on my part, (should've written it on note cards!) but the Lord put a burden on my heart to share some things I'd learned in the past 2 years of high-school and so, I obeyed. My relief last night turned into a perfectionist flare-up this morning while canning, but honestly, I know, perfectionism aside, I could have done better but am okay with it now. Mum pointed one fact out: she'd rather see me grow in making an effort talking to others I don't know, and reaching out than giving a riveting, perfect speech for school. That put it all into perspective for me. As many of Mum's words do.

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This past summer and Indian summer, the Lord has taught me many things. To focus my everything onto Him as an anchor, go with the flow, let go and let Him...prepare for the harvest, not tolerate but embrace change as it is only for a season, the length determined by God. He's also taught me the valuable lesson to look for His hidden blessings in the everyday. As we are coming upon Thanksgiving, (don't groan-I love thinking ahead to a favorite holiday), He is giving me multiple blessings to count and I am finding less and less things to whine about and resent. The leaves are turning and falling, each season comes and goes in the Lord's timing, and the Lord remains the same. Through the stinkbug infestation of our home and all.

Femininity & Fashion

What woman, young or old, has never shopped for new clothes or an outfit for a certain event? What woman has never paused to look at a mannequin in a store window and admire one of it's pieces? The secular fashion world of (expensive!) designer brands often want to squeeze women into a mold. They often say, 'you need to be this size, this body-type, et cetera if you want to look good in our clothes.' The beauty of every woman's individuality and freedom of choice (in the world of fashion), means she can take the fashion 'rules', fleeting fads and break them or glean bits and pieces from them until they have a style of dress all their own-according to their God-given unique individuality.

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Many of the clothing in stores, retail and consignment alike, contain many great clothing pieces that can be worn modestly and with femininity. It is not wholly the fashion world's fault or even the clothing out there itself that contributes to the rampant immodesty and immorality clothing our culture today. Our fallen society contributes to the rampant immodesty and encourages it but it is the responsibility of the Christian consumer to wear today's fashion in a way glorifying not to man but to God. It has been this way since the fall of man. What is truly sad is when women, genuinely confused and ignorant, blindly accept the world's message to, 'if you got it, flaunt it,' in pursuit of happiness. As Christian women, we are called to dress for the glory of God-not ourselves. This includes dressing femininely, (delighting in our God-created femininity), modestly and as Mum has often said, to draw attention to our countenance. Our countenance, houses the windows to the soul and when we are in the Lord, the inward joy and peace will shine through.

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Our family is lately in a transition time in many facets of our lives-including the decision to wear pants again. We had been wearing strictly skirts and dresses for 4 years by the Lord's hand and direction that this was how we were to honor Him in the area of modesty. The Lord calls each family/individual in different ways in all facets of life, including modesty, and we've never judged anyone who did not feel the same as we did and wears pants. The Lord recently prompted my parents that this season is to come to a close and to begin wearing pants again-albeit modestly. The majority of my friends wear jeans and pants modestly and also femininely. I believe, by evidence of friends and family that yes, there is a way to dress in pants/jeans femininely and fashionably. I prayed often about whether or not to wear pants again (and still am praying!) and feel the Lord is not calling me into that season as yet. The reason being, I struggle with self-consciousness and vanity when it comes to my appearance. Thinking about wearing jeans and actually wearing them for a few days, has led me to focus on myself and what others think of me in my jeans. It is yet another layer of my stubborn pride the Lord is peeling away so I do not feel that the Lord is telling me to wear jeans and pants again.

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It's been interesting, in a good way, to sort of 'be on the sidelines' while I watch my younger sister Sara and Mum wear jeans. Mum still looks pretty and feminine in her jeans but still wears skirts often. Sara, on the other hand-I must say, has been blossoming beautifully from the inside out. Her sense of 'style' and 'fashion' has evolved into an eclectic mix of three styles: bohemian, Indian and 'hippie.' We like to shorten it by just saying 'bohemian.' She wears jeans modestly and femininely and her style is now fully 'Sara.' Peasant tops, tunics, beads, cowgirl boots and icon T-shirts of all colors are included in her fabulous wardrobe. She's fully feminine, fashionable and beautiful from the inside out-all in her own special 'Sara' way.

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Fashion has never been a strong suit for me. I've often compared myself with others looks, including their clothes and have matured, somewhat, and came to realize that I am who I am, the size/body-type the Lord made me to be and who I am, inside and out, is just fine. I still have twinges of doubt and insecurity but the Lord is so faithful to use friends and family to draw my eyes back to Him. I have a term for my 'fashion': simply feminine. It's always tricky to see, whatever body-type you are, what styles of clothing fit/look best without showing too much or, on the flip side, being completely unflattering. As the Lord reveals and leads us through this transition time, discernment is greatly needed to determine God's will. I want to look feminine, but not plain. Fashionable, but not like the 'typical' 17 year old girl, that's just NOT me. I want to dress simply-but not so understated or old-ladyish-a term I've heard often by those who speak the truth in love.

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As women, the Lord designed our hearts to enjoy beautiful things and to enjoy our God-given femininity. God's definition of beautiful is from the inside out, in a way outwardly reflected back to Him when the heart is in right standing with Him. The world's way is chiefly focused on the outside and man's approval which is said to lead to true 'happiness.' Whatever styles, colors, skirts or pants, we wear, as Christian women, daily sancified through the Lord, let us always remember that "strength and dignity are her clothing, she shall rejoice in the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness." To close, I'd like to throw out the question: how do you express yourself through fashion? What's your style and how have you come to it? Soli Deo Gloria-glory to God alone.

Identity-in What?

The years between thirteen and graduation are a time of much transition, change and growth. These are the most formative years mankind experiences and it is also a time of identifying what we believe, who we are and why. In today’s culture, we can be tempted to feel identified by, and seek our identity in things and circumstances, such as clothes, jobs, degrees and colleges, to name a few. The phrase, ‘find yourself’ (is, albeit, a humanistic culturual term) refers to a person’s identity and personal fulfillment from that identity. In the tender, growing-up years of being a “teenager,” we wrestle with proving ourselves and ‘finding our niche’ and often we forget where our true identity lies.

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Middle-school, high-school and also college all bring an onslaught of new, unknown things to each and every student, homeschooled or not. You have to worry about a whole new ball game: the credits, the requirements, the grade point averages, deadlines! It’s enough to make more than one person want to bury their head under a pillow and block out reality! I’ve often wanted to do that in these last two years of high-school. Hard decisions to make have been burdensome, time management skills difficult to put into practice and in short, growing up into your own person. No longer a child, not quite an adult. We can become so bogged down with the rigorous school-loads and decisions that we feel they define us. Our SAT scores, grade point averages and career decisions; comparing ourselves with other friends same worries and what seems to be ‘expected.’ Because of the great burden that often accompanies these ‘worries,’ we feel pressured to prove ourselves through them. This weighs us down with an even bigger burden when we don’t quite measure up to our invisible standard of how we ‘should be’ or what we ‘should do.’ We wrongly believe when we reach our ‘should-be’ goals, we will have proven ourselves. It is a struggle to resist this tempting way of thinking and it is a trap, one I’ve personally fallen into many times over: the trap of not trusting God to lead and guide us in all the facets of our lives.

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I cannot stress enough that who we are, what we do, every moment in our day must be put under the Lord’s will. We will struggle with this, we will even take things back and try to do things ourselves. This is our sinful nature talking that says, ‘It’s my life, I can make of it what I want.’ When this, our sin, rises up within us, the Lord is faithful to convict, forgive and lead us back to Him. He also shows us that who we are in Him is who we truly are. It is important to use the gifts, interests and skills the Lord has given us and not leave them dormant but it is equally important to use them for His glory-not our own. This is where we find true fulfillment, by obeying the Lord's will. When considering the next steps after graduation, should we be thinking, “what’s the next best step for me” or, “what does God want me to do with my post-high-school years?” I’ve always assumed the Lord did not have any formal schooling for me after high-school. I struggled with being judgmental against those who felt the Lord was showing them that college was in His plan for them. Of late, the Lord has been impressing upon my heart to be open to whatever path He places me on, in other words, to not be narrow-minded; whether it is online credited courses, non-credit classes, apprenticing under someone, or taking CCAC classes to get my teaching degree. I can never stress enough to be open to whatever the Lord has for you. Pray for Him to reveal His will-to work and move in your life, especially in these tender years we call high-school/college. These years are the years prior to adulthood. They are some of the most formative years we go through and some of the toughest. It is important we put down roots in the Lord so that when worries and decisions weigh even more heavily upon our minds as adults, we can turn to the Rock of Ages, ever present and fully able to guide us in times of trouble.

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In closing, I’d like to further stress that our identity is found in the One who is at the right hand of God, ever making intercession for us here on earth. How could we not trust the One who died at Calvary for us when we deserved hell? If He did that much for us, surely He can take care of the temporary struggles we have in this life. With this confidence, we can make decisions with full assurance. God is always there, His will always prevails and it is perfect. Our identity is not in the decisions we make, not in the college that accepts us and not what degree we receive years down the road. Our identity is in the Lord. And when we are in His will, whatever path that takes us down, it is the sweetest place to be. Be open and willing with empty hands to God’s will. I’d like to close with a verse that contains immeasurable hope for all of us, whatever season of life we are going through:

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘Plans to prosper you and give you a good hope and a future.’”
Jeremiah 29:11