Muse...

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What a lovely writing space this appears to be! If I could only transport myself back in time, to this picture...with my laptop in hand. I could almost write a story right now, based on this picture. 

But I am inexplicably drawn back to small town America, 1935, where the most beloved of my characters wait not-so-patiently, to have their story finished.

The past two days I've had a strange tick appear in the lower eyelid of my left eye. I don't believe its been brought on by stress or too many hours in front of a computer screen...though maybe that obnoxious blinking cursor in the Word document could be to blame...

I laughingly refer to this eye-tick as my muse. 

I've purposed to write more, to finish what I started so long ago...but then that nagging perfectionist sits on my shoulder and whispers discouragement, limits and ways to make my 'great American novel' even better, more right. Stumbling blocks are they, to truly finishing the story I began at a young age.

Grammar, style and voice are all very important in writing, do not mistake me...but of late, I've had concerns and second guesses with my own, and I've lost sight of the story.

The story that will forever be the nearest and dearest to my heart...

The story that has been and is being fueled by circumstances in my own life, however difficult...

The characters who I invest myself in, who I love, loath at times, and grow as I grow...

The story that begs to be fully written with unabashed passion...

The story that is merely a part of my own being written by the Divine Author and finisher of my faith...

The story that has come so far, yet still seems to have so far to go...

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The story that is a treasure of mine, a pride and joy, and at times...the bane of my existence.

What can I say? This story, entitled God's Will, will ever always be with me.

It may never be published, I may never be able to sign a copy of it for a reader...it may be in the polishing stages for years to come...but there is one thing I know for sure, right now...

This is part of a great work God has set before me to do, to do well, and finish well.

Not finish perfect...but finish with the feeling of Him smiling down upon me.

2012

                                                                                                Source: facebook.com via Meghan on Pinterest

I know of many people who "do" resolutions at the start of the new year, while some still have "theme" words or phrases for the new year. I've been thinking often about both, but have recently decided on a theme for 2012.

Never one to condense--and one who absolutely stinks at it--I have a phrase for the year 2012: Be still and know that He is God. This phrase, paraphrased from Scripture, encompasses so much for me in my season of life right now. I've talked about it before...but as I've been thinking back to just the last half of 2011, I'm seeing patterns.
Patterns of getting caught up in the mysteries of life, making decisions...slipping and becoming like Martha who is so focused on "doing" she loses sight of Who she's doing it for...patterns also include God bringing my eyes back to Him, revealing His plan bit by bit, and receiving beautiful, gracious confirmation and peace about decisions and changes that I, at one point, questioned.

                                                                                    Source: liliesandsparrows.tumblr.com via Meghan on Pinterest

I will still have doubts--never in this life will I be perfect. I'll still fear; but I am confident that God will continue to repeatedly strengthen me, draw me ever nearer to Him, so I will not be moved about like the wind when hard times come. I love the verse pictured above; words cannot express how deeply I want to be closer to God. To grow in sharing my thoughts, my deepest heart wishes and hurts, with Him--every minute of every day.

I enter this new year grateful, also. The past 6 months have shown me, in more ways than one, how God can rearrange my plans, adjust my focus...all for my good, and His glory. I'm not saying it hasn't been hard...or how many times I fought it all...but I'm grateful for this time after graduation, with no school, no guy, work, family and church.
For this time that is to be me, and God.

                                                                                   Source: youremygod.tumblr.com via Meghan on Pinterest